Jesus paid it all

Jesus Paid It All Hymn

I hear the Savior say,
“Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.”
Refrain
Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
For nothing good have I
Whereby Thy grace to claim,
I’ll wash my garments white
In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb.
Refrain
And now complete in Him
My robe His righteousness,
Close sheltered ’neath His side,
I am divinely blest.
Refrain
Lord, now indeed I find
Thy power and Thine alone,
Can change the leper’s spots
And melt the heart of stone.
Refrain
When from my dying bed
My ransomed soul shall rise,
“Jesus died my soul to save,”
Shall rend the vaulted skies.
Refrain
And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
I’ll lay my trophies down
All down at Jesus’ feet.

Why don't I get it?
That Jesus paid it all, so all my fears, worries and crazy obsessions can stop. I know Jesus died on the cross and it is finished. But my heart still longs to do better and I feel like a failure when I fall flat on my face quiet often. I am not remembering that the day Jesus died on that cross, he really did pay it all. And I have to remember by "all" he means my past sins and my future sins. And I also have to remember that I have done nothing and will do nothing, which hits at my pride problem. The more I am learning and thinking through my life and the gospel, the more I learn that through every sin and aspect of my life the gospel applies. I know it seems elementary but really for me to realize and actually apply the gospel to things in my life I really would rather not is a big step for me. It's part of my sanctification, and really it sucks. It is so hard to change your ugly sinful habits, and thankfully I will not and cannot do it on my own. But I often tend to forget that and try to do it on my own without prayer and trust, and I get angry and just start those sinful habits again and it's usually worse. so my prayer this Sunday afternoon is that I will remember Jesus paid it all, and for that reason alone can I repent and rest. I pray I can apply the gospel to those hard places in my life where it's almost easier to just leave alone because it is so hard to change. But thats not what my lord wants, he wants me to run into his arms where I can find comfort and rest. I pray this week I will really work on these things and not just have it be something on paper. Even though I am more sinful than I will ever know, I am more loved by my heavenly father than I ever dare imagine.